I cannot believe it has been a year since I've blogged. I find myself coming back to it in times when I'm not feeling my best. Writing has always been an outlet for me to let out my thoughts and feelings and it's been far too long.

I'm not really sure what to write about... just pondering why it is that I struggle so much with my emotions. It's amazing how whenever I feel depressed it usually stems from my perception of not feeling good enough. It's funny how one of my youth group girls at one point was surprised that I still struggle with this because I'm married now. It was cute :-) But I told her that marriage doesn't just solve all your problems and struggles... in fact, I think I'm finding it does the exact opposite. I think marriage shows some of your worst traits at times, and I know that my lack of self-acceptance is at the top of the list.

I just pray that someday I would be freed from this struggle... Sometimes in my depression I block out how God sees me because I don't believe it sometimes.

I just pray that this year I would continue my journey to overcome fear and insecurity.

Today is super bowl day, and I can't help but think that two super bowls ago my husband and I caught each other's eyes. Really missing him tonight. <3

So life is crazy for me as of late. For example, the banner at the top reminds me that I am getting MARRIED in 56 days! :-) :-) I am so excited and most of my time has been dedicated to wedding stuff.

God has blessed Daniel and I in so many ways. Half the time we're just in awe of the way God works everything out. How He continues to teach us to trust Him.

We both want to thank everyone for all of their thoughts, prayers and encouragement.

I know I haven't been on here for awhile, and I have a feeling that this will continue... but if you happen to see this please continue praying for our upcoming marriage.
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I already forgot and changed the date to make this say November 2nd... haha... but in my defense I was sick and got some medicine today so now I should be better...

This makes me smile :)

This was my profile i made awhile back, but I think I'll just write my posts on here this year! :)

http://www.nablopomo.com/profile/HisStar333

Once again it's Nablopomo time. That stands for National Blog Posting Month or something like that. haha :-) So you are supposed to make a blog post everyday. Some of them will be short, some will be deep, some will be random and nonsense. :) But I'm determined to do this for my third year in a row.

So it's November 1st, and I'm thankful for an awesome youth leaders meeting today! I'm thankful for a wonderful boyfriend who I love so very much, and for all that God has done in our lives and will continue to do. And I'm thankful that two of my youth group girls are stepping into leadership and are attending our meetings! :) Pretty awesome!!!!!

I'm really thankful for God and the fact that He changes us to be more like Him! Blessed be His name!

I had such a nice weekend that it wasn't so bad going back to work today. God has been teaching me a lot about contentment this past weekend, and I've started making little note cards with definitions and verses on them. So far I have one next to my bed and on my bathroom mirror. But I still need to make a few more for in my car and to keep in my wallet. This has been a great tool for me the past few days to meditate on being content where I am right now in life. I also wanted to start keeping track of three things I'm thankful for each day to help keep me in the here and now perspective. Daniel and I have been doing this together and keeping a journal of the three things we are thankful for each day. It's been really neat to take the time and share what we're thankful for with each other and it's also helping me keep a more positive focus. So I thought I'd share my three things with you all today...

1) I'm thankful for worship music that I connect with. The song that I've been belting out the past few days in my car is #1 on my playlist to the right. I love the bridge in these hillsong lyrics: "All of my life, in every season. You are still God, I have a reason to sing. I have a reason to worship." I remember that Jesse had blogged about this song awhile ago, that has a couple of videos with the meaning behind the song. Check it out here.
2) I'm thankful that God is in control and that he is teaching me not to fear. I'm thankful that He is in control even when our small town just had their sense of security "shattered" as it was described in the paper today. I'm thankful that news reports say that the little girl is expected to recover.
3) I'm thankful that my monday night class will be over in a few weeks so I can go back to youth group! haha :-)

So lots to be thankful for everyday... even on the days that seem to be not so great. When you take the time to think about what you're thankful for it can completely change your attitude and that's what I'm finding.

Here's a couple of random pictures taken in the past month or so: